My name is Forrest and I’m a procrastinator and a hopeless consumer of all Bachelor franchises. I’m writing a weekly blog devoted to each episode — a project that I was hesitant to start because I feel like Youtube videos are a better platform for such thing… but alas that is simply not my cup of tea. A Bachelor blog it is!
I think I went into this week expecting more drama or more crazy. The episode itself was a little uneventful, but we still got to meet some very interesting ladies who already seem like bright and colourful rainbows in comparisons to Arie’s beigy-ness. The second episode is a great teller for how I think the rest of the season will go: Arie = not interesting. Most Women = not that interested.
Becca K: One–on–one date
Am I the only one who does not remember this girl from the first night? I knew there were two Becca’s & half of the world’s population of Lauren’s, but I simply did not have a memory of her that stood out.
Becca’s date started with a motorcycle ride (a feat way too dangerous for Krystal). They arrived at a seaside mansion with a ready-set seafood buffet (the lobsters though). She then met Rachel Zoe and got to play dress up with some gorgeous designer dresses. She genuinely looked like she was having fun, but Arie merely sat and watched her joy. They later sat and watched the ocean and she got a kiss from the kissing bandit. I’m in awe of the material opulence but my brain is yawning around 9:12 pm.
Becca walked away with several dresses (of which Arie bought), some Louboutins, and diamond earrings. I don’t know much about the Gossip Girl brands, but looking at her carrying all of the bags after the date I knew that it was all EXPENSIVE and IMPRESSIVE.
I felt nearly sympathetic for Becca on this date. While we all know that she received an enviable amount of wonderful gifts, this seemed like a trophy wife sort of date to me. I needed more substance rather than merely a dumping of cash. Becca seems to know her worth, and self worth does not = x amount of cash. I want to see Arie validate these women in more ways and now the bar is raised even higher for him.
Krystal: One–on–one date
While watching Krystal’s date, I was CRINGING. They went to SCOTTSDALE,AZ (Arie’s hometown) and walked through his empty highschool. Arie alluded that he barely made it through high school, which means this place is of little importance to him and simply a waste of time. Krystal smiled through the bulk of it and complimented the deserted halls with her mysteriously raspy voice (why is it so raspy?! I need answers!).
Then they went to Arie’s “house” that had the most boring decorations I have ever seen. This has to be a set home because how could a person live somewhere that looks like the decor equivalent of oatmeal? They watched weird home movies and Krystal still continued smiling. I would have been begging to go home by this point.
Krystal then went to meet Arie’s family. I don’t think I like the show doing the surprise hometown dates two Bachelor seasons in a row. Raven did so well meeting Nick’s family, but it still seemed like it was more forced than actual hometowns. Arie’s family seemed really happy for him to come home, and Krystal gave them a little interrogation on their own successful marriage. She took the conversation seriously, which I think is a good sign of her intentions. Later, she tells Arie that her family life is very different. Her vulnerability is exactly what everyone needs to do on one-on-one dates. She was obviously scared and also very honest. Even though I wanted to dislike Krystal on the date, I really couldn’t complain about her…. yet.
I feel like I could sum up this date in 2 words: Bumpercar Trauma.
The girls head to a demolition derby, which actually looked immensely fun and dangerous. My friends and I would jump off of cliffs into the river when we were in college. We always got such adrenaline rushes and felt like gods. I’m guessing the derby feels the same way.
Bibiana’s need to smash things was REAL, because you know these girls are ready to do anything after being cooped up without books, music, or television for a week. In fact, everyone seemed pretty excited except for Annaleise. I felt for her tears initially, because I thought she had been in a car accident. Turns out, she is scarred from a bumper car accident from her childhood. WHAT. ABC must be deliriously desperate at this point because not only do they give this problem tons of attention, but they also create a “cut scene” of bumper car footage. The cheesy level I needed was exceeded beyond belief. Sienne and Tia shine during the derby, as well as Brittany T. (who went so hard she was injured).
The end of the group date began to test my patience. Chelsea makes me want to avoid suburbia forever, because her crazy eyes are the type that watch you go to the mailbox through her designer shades after she slips Kaltene bars into the snack bags that she made for other mom’s at her bi-weekly spin class.
Any time Chelsea talks, I’m waiting for her to say something that will land her in the role of the villain. On this date, she was very adamant about letting Arie know she had a child; which, is all well and good except she made it seem like it aligned her with his past love. Here’s the formula I see Chelsea creating: Arie loved Emily. Emily has kid. I have kid. Therefore Arie loves me. It is crazy, but it just might work.
Becka M also stood out to me because her and Arie have obvious chemistry. Their kiss had so much spark! Her fur jacket also made me want a fur jacket.
Bibana begins to feel the pressure on the group date. I have always wondered why we don’t see the Bachelor or Bachelorette interact with everyone on these group dates, and it turns out that it just can’t happen. There are too many girls at this stage, and you have to be quite aggressive to get your time. Bibiana plans on stepping up after this and I’m ready to see her give it her all!
Sienne stood out on this group date because she is 1) gorgeous and 2) ARTICULATE. I love seeing contestants look the Bachelor in the eye, and Sienne did so with such confidence and grace. She knows what she wants. She also tells Arie that she went to Yale, which is impressive for the show. I already thing she may be too good for Arie. Arie is also impressed and gives her the group date rose.
The cocktail party was one huge eye roll for me. Arie kisses nearly everyone; Becka M claims to be no drama mid-kiss; and Krystal interrupts women twice even though she already has a rose. One of the women she interrupted was Bibana who was on the verge of a melt down most the night as she was trying to get time with Arie. When she finally gets time, she doesn’t know what to say and then Krystal barges in. As much as I wanted to see her succeed, I was more okay with her sticking up for herself as she failed to connect with Arie. Though her time was short, Bibs did tell Krystal that she did not want to be interrupted and then later called Krystal out for being fake. Krystal seemed clingy for asking for so much time, and I think what Bibiana told her was on other girls’ minds: “check yourself before you check on other people”.
The Rose Ceremony:
These actually happen?! YES!
Many girls did not get time with Arie, and many a girl who did looked nervous in this ceremony. I especially noticed that Tia looked particularly uneasy (which made me nervous because I want her to stick around!) In the end, Arie sent home 3 girls who I can’t even remember.
Here’s what google tells me:
Valerie, Lauren G., & Jenny (who was upset to leave her friends).
Right now I have about 4 front runners and they all are the women who have had the most screen time: Becca, Becca, Krystal, Sienne.
I’m hoping this next week brings some real connections and also some real conversations about what the women see in Arie besides his “pillow lips”.